Why Does He Bother?

I Run, im sprinting,
I’m trying to hide but He’s still there,
He’s everywhere,
LORD, I can’t keep saying yes but living no,
LORD, let me go and leave me,
I’m not worthy, I can’t overcome,
I keep losing, whats victory?
Thinking and knowing I could/should win but never will/do?
I love you too much, fear you too much, to even say one and do another,
I desperately need you, then again I’m scared I because I feel I’ve never had you
And can I now?

Mind is on overload, just tryna think straight, tryna think pure,
Seems like every good thought just gets perverse,
Really? How long will you battle in mind Satan? Do you want my soul that bad?
Seems like the whole of hell is determined to say “this one, will be no more”,
Everyday is a constant war,
Look to left some are soaring, look to right some are existing but seem okay,
I’m i in the middle ground? Limping between two decisions?
Join the living? Or join the dead?

Despite all that I go through, if there’s anything I still wanna do, is say “Jehovah, I praise you”,
That LORD I look over the years and see a sinner getting saved daily by GRACE,
But its like thats the only point I get to, and it still hasn’t stuck in yet,
And this what makes me mad, because all control has gone,
Yet I’m told to trust in You.

All I can do is fall on my face, offer up my body,
God, how long will battle with my heart? Are you truly that faithful?
LORD, I dont get this love, I dont get this commitment, I don’t get this point that you ain’t leaving.
Teach me,
Cause I’m tired and as I lay, My continual prayer is “Lord, teach me, hold me, let Your love surround me”

One wonder I get in this “place”, that you LORD continue to fight we, continue to pursue me, continue to remain faithful when I’m faithless.

I don’t understand, so I sit and wait….and continually to think “Why does He bother with me?”

 

 

Brother A. 2011 © All Rights Reserved. Feel Free to duplicate this writing as long as you provide this copyright notice and not distort or change it in any way. (A Cry from a Young Man’s Heart)